I have a very hard time letting go and admitting defeat; or, rather, admitting that things need to go. I hacked 10,000 words tonight, of my own volition, after sitting down and having a heart-to-heart with The Aldersgate. Defeat is definitely the wrong word here because I’m fairly certain that this work is going to lead to better things: most importantly clarity, character, and cohesiveness.
This is my problem: I try to do too much. And this, I think, is connected to the way my girl brain works. I am indeed, how Wil Wheaton put it, “A ferret on meth.” Except I don’t take meth, and am not, at last check, much of a rodent. I’m always balancing a thousand things at once, and often, I flourish in the chaos–my brain actually works better when I’m busy, ideas come more easily, dialogue flows better. But it also means I sleep less, forget more, and am often an incessant chatter-box. I’m a consummate multitasker.
But there is a tipping point. The first draft of the book had five main POVs; at one point, this current draft had nine.
I am not, I repeat, NOT George R. R. Martin.
My ferret brain is a ferret brain, and there is a point where I just can’t keep it up. So. Axe, axe, axe. I took away the narratives that were turning into character sketches and not moving the plot along very well. What ultimately decided the deal for me was, oddly enough, the podcast. I started listening to the chapters as if I were an audience and not the author and realized–heck, I’ve got to make this more interesting. If I keep introducing characters at this rate, the reader will fall asleep because nothing is happening.
And honestly? I feel like I can breathe better now.
Don’t get me wrong, I love characters. Putting these folks on the back burner breaks my heart. I get attached, feel motherly toward, and even get occasionally get crushes (very… weird, yes… but I admit it, and I’m told I’m not the only one) on my characters. But it’s not like I’m killing these folks. No, they’re just receding to the background and not getting a POV because their stories can be told through the eyes of other POVs.
I’ve probably stopped making sense by this point. I suppose, what I’m trying to say is that, if you’re at a point where you feel like you’re stuck in the mire (which I certainly have been feeling) sometimes you need to step away and put on another set of goggles (go go steampunk metaphors!). Telling stories is hard business, and telling them right is even harder.
Words are not nearly as precious as the stories they tell, and sometimes the words have to be rewritten… and rewritten… and rewritten, until they’re right. In that way writing is much like sculpture. The work is there, in the stone–you just have to chip away until you find it. And then there are even times that the stone you’re working with isn’t even worth the work, and you have to start from scratch.
But you keep going. Because well… it’s your art.
Writing. It’s what I do.
The Aldersgate Cycle 
August 28, 2008 at 3:28 pm
I was just commenting on Jan Van Hove’s story, and next up I read this. It’s funny how there seems to be a theme of character at the moment.
As said to him, I am working on fleshing out the approach in regards to characters. I understand that you have already done this, and are in fact taking a closer look but I think it still stands that sometimes, much like I am doing, you need to strip back all the layers and look at the defining characters underneath.
PS: I listened to a moment of the Podcast and you read it well. I feel I lack in the reading aloud part. I tend to read quick in my head and thus, in the real world… not good when you start getting your own sentences wrong.
August 28, 2008 at 4:09 pm
You do, and it’s hard to do that sometimes because you’re attached to them all. Our characters–heroes and villains alike–are our own, our preciouses. Hss!
I do feel much better after figuring out what to do, but it’s not easy. I still haven’t decided on one of the POVs entirely, and am weighing my options.
Thanks for the note about the reading. I think I’ve gotten a whole lot better as I’ve been doing the podcast, but I’m always open to suggestions and comments! I’ve always read my stuff aloud, so it seemed a natural progression. Though, admittedly, it still makes me nervous. It’s performance, too, and I love doing the voices, but I often wonder, “Am I dorking out too much here?”
March 15, 2009 at 2:48 am
Things may change. All I wish is that you keep on writing and inspire those who were never been exposed to writing. I am one. I am just starting to chip the biggest rock given to me. As I’ll try to see what it’ll look like in the following seasons.